A Letter

Dear Marilyn Manson,

Am I the only one who is wondering where your new album is?  Honestly, it was scheduled to be released on on Valentine’s Day.  February 14^th, 2017.  That was over a month ago.  As each week goes by and I look at music blogs and metal blogs, and they talk about new music coming out, there isn’t a WORD as to where the Hell SAY10 is.

No tracks available anywhere, just the teaser of a track and a music video.  But that was months ago.  That was 2016!  That was before Trump was elected!?!?!

No one seems to be asking this question.  Well I am!  What is the hold up?  Is something going on, keeping this album from being released?  No social media communication from you in weeks.  What is the deal?!?!  And why is no one else wondering?  Am I the only one that had it on my calendar to expect to download new music on February 14^th? 

I FEEL LIKE I AM TAKING CRAZY PILLS?!?!?

Needless to say, I am very disappointed.  This is a huge letdown and a lot of build up to nothing.  Are you releasing an album this year or not?  If you are, then when?  Because right now, you are just a liar, releasing the news that SAY10 was coming out in 2017.  And I didn’t think it was right that you got beat up at Denny’s but if this album doesn’t come out soon, I might not feel so bad for you. 

Stop toying with my emotions and release this album. 

Thank you so much!

Sincerely,

Nicole

All My Life I Want Money and Power

I've done the Metal yoga thing and that was great!  What’s next?

Hip Hop yoga, obviously!

On Wednesday, I took a Hip Hop yoga class: Kendrick Lamar versus ScHoolboy Q.  I figured it was something worth trying and had no idea what to expect.  The room was candlelit and at least 80 degrees.  The music was a mix of Kendrick, ScHoolboy, and some more Zen yoga tunes played at the beginning and end of class. 

Each sequence of class consisted of three rounds: first doing the “flow” on the right, next on the left, and then the instructor would blast the music and we were to do the sequences on our own with no instruction until she told us to stop. 

The difference with this class and the Metal class was at Metal yoga, the music was a backdrop to the class, a minor detail.  At this class, the music was the focal point.  The class was really all about losing yourself in the music.

The first blast was to “Backseat Freestyle” and I was like yessssssss.  Luckily the class was candlelit so no one could see me lip singing "Kendrick had a dream!" nor could they see a little booty bounce on my warrior one.

I am very VERY particular about the Rap and Hip Hop that I listen to.  When I am amongst other people and Hip Hop is playing, it doesn’t really matter what it is.  However, when it comes to the Hip Hop music I select to listen to on my own time, it has to be worth it.  I don’t have many rap albums I listen to all the way through and very few artists that I respect and would care enough to see them in concert.

Kendrick Lamar is something special.  You hear the emotion, the anger, and the intellect in his music. And though I didn’t really know ScHoolboy Q (apparently I saw him at Austin City Limits and was a fan) I really enjoy his music too.  I suppose most Hip Hop I feel I can’t relate to.  When Future is rapping about fucking up some commas, I can’t relate at all.  I can barely afford rent, buddy!  And when Rick Ross is rapping about throwing dollar bills at strippers I  . . . .

Anyway, I find Metal much more relatable.  I haven’t bought a Cadillac but have I felt fucked—shit out of luck?  You bet I have!  But there are those gems of rappers and Hip Hop artists that have it.  They have all the bling and flash but still keep themselves at our level.  Kendrick is one of those rappers.  #Respect

As my big passion is music, after most fitness classes, I look up the instructor on Spotify and see if they have a profile and public playlists.  Here is the playlist from class.  Hope you enjoy.

Free Hugs

Sometimes things affect you differently than you would expect.  For example, when I had Metallica general admission tickets in my shopping cart and then I lost them, I did not expect to cry . . . but I did.

Some things that you think will upset you, actually don't, and then other things that you don't think will upset you, actually do.  When life events, big or small, come up and someone else is upset, hurt, angry, sad, I am not initially sure how to handle it.  Over the years, I have figured out my approach which is treat someone how I would want to be treated.  How would I want someone to treat me in this situation?  And then I do that.  How I deal with pain and sadness is probably different than a lot.  When I am really upset, I need space but I also really need comfort.  

I remember when I broke up with my first boyfriend.  I did it in our living room and then he reluctantly left.  When I walked upstairs to bed, my parents were still up so I went into their room and just started crying.  I didn't expect that reaction because it was my choice to end the relationship, and it was a long time coming, but I truly could barely speak.  My mom was confused and asked me what had happened, did I regret what I did, isn't this what I wanted, etc.  My dad just came over and hugged me.  He didn’t ask any questions or try to understand the situation, just gave me some much needed comfort.

I often look back at this time and use it as an example of how to handle someone who is upset or going through something.  When faced with sadness, my instinct is to hug or offer a hug.  Sometimes people want it and sometimes people don't.  When Hilary Clinton lost to Donald Trump in last year's election, I was crying at my desk and a coworker came over and gave me a hug.  It was exactly what I needed.

Hugs let you hide a little. Remember when you were a kid and you made a fort under blankets or under your desk?  It was a comfort to hide and kind of disappear.  That is what a hug is for me as an adult.  A brief shelter from the storm that is adult life.  

I used to work with a girl that I hated.  I don’t work with her anymore but I still hate her, by the way.  She was dealing with some family things and I saw she was in her office on the brink of tears.  Despite my feelings towards her, I walked into her office and asked "do you need a hug."  Her response was a surprising "yah" and I hugged her.  I comforted that bitch during that tough time.

I never have discounted the importance of a hug.  It is such a basic thing and certainly there are people that don’t enjoy hugging or being hugged.  Feeling someone close to you in a physical sense is one of the most significant natural remedies and methods of healing.  It is something to be done when you are unsure what else you can do.

If you are feeling like you may need a hug and don’t know where you can get one, enjoy my playlist full of melancholy, soothing, dreary tunes to embrace the sadness until you find your hug.

Don't Shop, Don't Work, Don't Talk

As I write this, it is International Women's Day. There is a lot happening on this day.  A lot of girl power and strength in numbers and fighting back and the like. What really struck me was the A Day Without A Woman initiative.  Protests and action items laid out for women to make notice of how the world would be without women for a day.  Women aren't shopping, they are not going to work; they are trying to be out of the picture for 24 hours. 


All day I was going back and forth about it.  Mostly because when all is said and done, I am not behind this movement.  (And secondly because I had to buy my lunch).  This whole thing reminded me of when a girl is mad at her boyfriend and she won't tell him why or say she is mad, but instead, she passive aggressively gives him the silent treatment, ignores him, doesn't give him the time of day. 


This is not effective. The guy can chill and relax and not deal with the argument and the girl can maintain her enraged state of being (as we often like to do). 


When I started really taking some time to think about this idea of women not spending and not going to work, it became clear that I was so NOT on board. If anything, we should be spending that money that we earned ourselves.  We should be celebrating each other for being women.  We should be spending our money on things that celebrate us as women--art, culture, fashion, food, literature.  We should not take work off but celebrate that we CAN work and that we are earning our own money.  


To be silent and be "without" women for a day goes against everything feminists and those fighting for women's rights are trying to do.  We must be as present as possible and support as many women as possible.  Sitting back to not spend or not work, that is almost like not voting. We fought for our right to vote.  What's next, not wearing pants???

When we look to make changes in the world, action is required.  Trying to prove a point by being silent to it just allows for that something to continue.  So, even though it is not International Women's Day anymore, tell a strong woman that you love her, support female-owned businesses, and if you are a woman, GOD DAMN GIRL, HAVE A GLASS OF WINE!

Like, do you know what I mean?

I am not a basic bitch.  I am very aware of what it takes to be one and I do work extensively on keeping myself from being one.  I do, however, have numerous basic bitch tendencies.  For example, I go to yoga very often . . . in Tribeca.  I enjoy pumpkin spice flavored EVERYTHING (except the PSL—that is just one step too far).  I like scented candles; I like Rosé in the summer. 

One of my favorite basic bitch tendencies is overnight oats.  I LOVE overnight oats.  I make overnight oats almost every night for the next morning.  I add peanut butter, or berries, or flax seed or wheat germ, or honey.  I use almond milk (to make it extra basic bitch) and often assemble my overnight oats in a mason jar (to peak my basic-o-meter).

It has become fairly clear that my dedication to this balanced breakfast choice is the most telling feature of the fact that I am 30.  When I am out on a weeknight and as the minutes go by, my biggest concern is . . .

I have to get home to make my overnight oats!!!!

In all seriousness, it is a nightly routine that cannot be disrupted.  I am 30 and my dedication to my food prep screams “I AM 30.”  I went to a concert on Wednesday this week.  It was a school night but I was out until almost midnight.  Even after 4 cocktails and 4 different DJs, I wobbled back and forth in front of my kitchen counter and assembled my overnight oats before collapsing into bed. 

I was giving advice to a friend this week (not a common occurrence but hey, she asked) and a lot of what I was saying was things I need to say to myself.  Fixating in trouble areas of my life will consume me.  Then all that energy is being wasted when it could be directed towards all the positives I have in my life.  It is amazing how when I refocus, so does everything else.  When can you take the time to adjust your focus and re-stabilize yourself, you ask?  Making your overnight oats.  Duh!!!

I have mentioned before that a focus for this year is positivity, being open, and being more balanced.  Using less of my energy to focus on unimportant things and putting that energy to better use. Perhaps this overnight oats-making helps with this balance and takes me from a high level of crazy to a more open, peaceful version of myself.  I think we can all agree that the less crazy me is better.

In lieu of my favorite breakfast treat, enjoy my Overnight Oats playlist.

And also, please enjoy my favorite recipe:

Basic Bitch Oats

½ cup unsweetened milk

½ cup old-fashioned oats

1 ½ tablespoons nut butter

1 teaspoon wheat germ

1 tablespoon chia seeds

Mix all ingredients in a mason jar, cover and leave in fridge overnight.  Enjoy the next morning (UGG boots optional)

I Am A Passenger

When you get stuck on the subway for 5-10 minutes, you can usually find something that will occupy your time.  You can make a To Do List in your head, plan your meals for the week, even meditate.  

When you are stuck on the subway for over an hour, suddenly you need much more to distract you.  Luckily, I used much of my 2-hour total commute (which normally takes about 30-40 minutes) to make a great playlist of some of my current favorite jams.  That is, until I found I had a saved episode of The Jersey Shore on my phone.  Ya know, the one where Angelina is thinking about leaving and then she brings home the guy and sleeps in Mike's bed and then Snooki fights her and she eventually leaves?!?!?

Please enjoy this playlist and I hope it gives you enough distraction when stuck in traffic or on the your respective commutes.