Trying Something New (and Goth)

Thursday night was my first experience with Black Metal Yoga; more specifically, Black Light Black Metal Yoga at Lucky 13 Saloon in Brooklyn.  It’s a thing and a great thing.  When I walked in, I got a thrill of excitement and joy. Wall to wall horror movie posters, a spinal cord hanging from the ceiling, metal band pictures covering the ceiling, a decapitated doll stuck into an old television.  Honey, I’m home!

I saw in the back of the bar, there was a door with a one eyed skull painted over the entryway. This must be the place.  A patron sitting at the bar let me know they had not opened the back area yet and just said, "Have a beer.  Take a shot."  Don’t think I didn’t consider it.

I was not the most beginner but not the most senior participant. The class started with "How are we doing?" and seeing as it was Inauguration eve, all the instructor, Melody, got was a guttural grumble from her audience. Everyone had to bring their own mat and towel and no blocks provided.  So, when I grabbed my water bottle to lean on for balance, the guy next to me (turns out to be a yoga instructor) whispers "great idea” and does the same. I complimented his black yoga mat (yes most mats were black and I had a dumb ass baby blue mat) and he told me the benefits of its non-slip grip.

I was dressed appropriately, rocking skeleton leggings and my Rob Zombie "Gore Whore" shirt. Because this Black Metal Yoga class was a Black Light Black Metal Yoga class, my shirt and bones on my leggings glowed brightly the whole class.  During tree pose, Melody, called out to me, "Does your shirt say ‘gore whore?’"  I nodded, as I thought speaking would make me lose balance and her response was "I love it. It's glowing at me."  I shouted a timid “yay,” and kept focusing on my balance.

Overall, the class was very similar to your regular yoga flow class.  Except instead of encouraging words such as “beautiful” and “great job” we students received “fuck yah!” and even more specifically, “Gore Whore’s got it!”  Latecomers, rather than told to please arrive on time, were threatened with a spanking. Depending on who you are, you may wish you had come late.

The music was indeed black metal but atmospheric with some subtle screams and yells.  It was actually very soothing and fitting for a yoga class.  The only complaint was the floor was concrete (normally the area they have live music) and because it is January, the cold concrete sometimes leaked through to my bare feet. I imagine this setting is perfect in the summer, almost serving as a cool off zone.

Overall, it was a great experience and I look forward to taking this class again (and next time, perhaps a celebratory shot of Jack after finishing the class).


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