Now I Know How The Energizer Bunny Feels

This past Thursday, after work, I was exhausted.  I got home and just crashed on the couch.  Could not even fathom of doing anything other than remaining horizontal until bedtime.  I had no thoughts of accomplishing anything more than putting on pajamas and eventually rolling myself into bed.

After a few hours, I started getting ready for bed.  I got settled, turned off the lights and started considering turning off the TV.  But it was at this point that I got a second wind.  I was WIRED!  There was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep.  So, I got out of bed and changed my sheets, put away laundry, washed all the dishes in the sink, and handled meal prep for the next day.  I got back into bed and eventually, fell asleep.

The next day, I knew I had something for work due and I had set my alarm 40 minutes earlier than usual to get to work early and get a jump-start on what was due.  Exactly 40 minutes before my alarm (a total of 80 minutes earlier than usual), I woke up and started thinking.  Thinking about my current job, thinking about my last job, about work I had due, about adding an introductory paragraph to my proposal, about whether to wear sneakers or boots, if I filled out my health insurance information correctly on TurboTax. 

So, I got out of bed, put all the dishes I washed the night before away, cleaned the counter, showered, got dressed, packed my gym clothes and headed to work.  When I arrived at the office, I was the first to arrive.  I got everything I needed to get done, finished by 9:30 AM (when most of my coworkers were just arriving).

Whether it was too much caffeine or too many things on my mind, I channeled this energy in a very effective manner (over this 24 hour period, I also managed to make 12 mini cheesecakes, defrost a lasagna, go to the bank, watch a documentary, clean my yoga mat, and make a Sephora wish list).

When a person gets these random bursts of unforeseen energy, there is a often a frustration that comes with it.  Why can’t I relax?  Why can’t I sleep more?  I am a big believer of riding the wave.  If you are energized this much on such minimal fuel, you might as well use it while you have it.  And what better way to be most efficient with your natural high than having a great playlist to go with it.

Whether you are cleaning your toilet at 3 AM or cranking out paperwork at 11 PM, This overly-caffeinated playlist will keep you at that temporary state of euphoria.  And then, when you crash, which you inevitably will, you will have accomplished so much with great music playing in the background.

This Won't Hurt A Bit

I have had two MRIs in my life.  One was out of necessity.  I have had lower back pain for months now and the orthopedic doctor recommended that I get an MRI to ensure there was no serious damage, and to best prescribe next steps in solving the issue.  The other MRI was just pure hypochondria.  Like, I couldn't wait to get an MRI.  I wanted one.  After the neurologist got the results from my MRI (and saw my brain was functioning perfectly normal), he angrily told me to relax and stop coming to visit him or else he would give me a spinal tap. 

“It’s painful, is that what you want???” 

Anyway, when you are getting an MRI (if you ever need one), my recommendation is tell as few people as possible.  Everyone who has ever had one or knows someone who has had one likes to give their two cents on how scary it is, how claustrophobic you will feel, how you are likely to have a panic attack.   “It’s like being in a coffin.” 

Great!  Looking forward to it!  Note sarcasm. 

An MRI is really no big thing.  Go in with no fear and it is really just 20-30 minutes, chilling in a tight space for a bit.  Think of it as a time to relax in the hype of your busy day; a brief spa treatment perhaps. 

And now, there is a playlist for having an MRI.  Your welcome! 

My friend at work had an MRI scheduled and of course, people were telling him things like "you are in a constrained tube" and “you can’t move”—all things you do not want to hear when going to get your first MRI. I had never looked into if you could wear headphones during the MRI but it turns out, at least in some instances, you can! So what better way to relax and think about things, other than the thousands of photographs being taken of your bones and your brain, than an MRI Playlist. 

The playlist is about an hour, which should allow for the whole MRI and waiting time.  The list is meant to be distracting and intricate.  These songs don't really have anything to do with one another.  This is on purpose so you wont get bored with the music and then realize—AHHHH I am in a tube with no escape route! 

And to make light of the situation, I do hope you will enjoy the subtle amusing references to MRI-related things.  For example, "Break Ya Neck" by Busta Rhymes or "Fun with Drugs" by Velvet Acid Christ, or the line "breaking my back just to know your name" from The Killers’ "Somebody Told Me."  These were also chosen on purpose.   

 Enjoy, and don't feel like you have to have an MRI to listen to this playlist.  Healthy people may also enjoy these jams.

Trying Something New (and Goth)

Thursday night was my first experience with Black Metal Yoga; more specifically, Black Light Black Metal Yoga at Lucky 13 Saloon in Brooklyn.  It’s a thing and a great thing.  When I walked in, I got a thrill of excitement and joy. Wall to wall horror movie posters, a spinal cord hanging from the ceiling, metal band pictures covering the ceiling, a decapitated doll stuck into an old television.  Honey, I’m home!

I saw in the back of the bar, there was a door with a one eyed skull painted over the entryway. This must be the place.  A patron sitting at the bar let me know they had not opened the back area yet and just said, "Have a beer.  Take a shot."  Don’t think I didn’t consider it.

I was not the most beginner but not the most senior participant. The class started with "How are we doing?" and seeing as it was Inauguration eve, all the instructor, Melody, got was a guttural grumble from her audience. Everyone had to bring their own mat and towel and no blocks provided.  So, when I grabbed my water bottle to lean on for balance, the guy next to me (turns out to be a yoga instructor) whispers "great idea” and does the same. I complimented his black yoga mat (yes most mats were black and I had a dumb ass baby blue mat) and he told me the benefits of its non-slip grip.

I was dressed appropriately, rocking skeleton leggings and my Rob Zombie "Gore Whore" shirt. Because this Black Metal Yoga class was a Black Light Black Metal Yoga class, my shirt and bones on my leggings glowed brightly the whole class.  During tree pose, Melody, called out to me, "Does your shirt say ‘gore whore?’"  I nodded, as I thought speaking would make me lose balance and her response was "I love it. It's glowing at me."  I shouted a timid “yay,” and kept focusing on my balance.

Overall, the class was very similar to your regular yoga flow class.  Except instead of encouraging words such as “beautiful” and “great job” we students received “fuck yah!” and even more specifically, “Gore Whore’s got it!”  Latecomers, rather than told to please arrive on time, were threatened with a spanking. Depending on who you are, you may wish you had come late.

The music was indeed black metal but atmospheric with some subtle screams and yells.  It was actually very soothing and fitting for a yoga class.  The only complaint was the floor was concrete (normally the area they have live music) and because it is January, the cold concrete sometimes leaked through to my bare feet. I imagine this setting is perfect in the summer, almost serving as a cool off zone.

Overall, it was a great experience and I look forward to taking this class again (and next time, perhaps a celebratory shot of Jack after finishing the class).


\m/
  

Just Wanted to Say Thank You

I apologize for the second political post but it’s my blog and I can write whatever I want.  #sorrynotsorry

I never got a chance to write Barack Obama a letter while he was in the White House (or rather I wrote a draft, thought it was stupid, and then deleted it), so I am writing this Farewell Address of Thanks.  I am putting it out into cyberspace and perhaps I will someday print it out and send it directly to him.

Dear President Barack Obama,

In 2007, I was studying abroad in Paris, France.  I had no interest in politics, in current affairs, in anything beyond my own sphere of influence, my friends, my classes, my final exams, my personal existence.

Obama, 2007

I started hearing about this Senator Obama in the French language before hearing anything about him in English.  The French people, the French newspapers were talking about him, and they liked him.  They saw a change was coming for the United States.

Who is this Barack Obama?

When I came back from studying abroad, I went to my local campaign office and just asked, “Can I volunteer?”  The summer of 2007, I saw you speak three times.  I met you twice and met your wife and daughters once.  I started reading up on your position on the big issues and really listened to what you had to say.  I made phone calls and got hung up on more times than I can count.

In January of 2008, I was literally running door to door in the dark, with a flashlight, the night of the Primary Election.  Having my home in New Hampshire, it was important work to be done, up until the last possible minute.  Though you lost the Primary in New Hampshire, you won the nomination overall and look where we are.

Over these last 8 years, I think back so fondly on the experience I had volunteering in your first campaign.  In this day and age, it is hard for a young woman to find a role model amongst the Kardashian-style-culture we have created in society.  However, I see you as a true role model and will never forget what you have taught me.

You first taught me that there is a bigger picture.  At a time when I was so self-absorbed (we have all been there), you showed me that there is a nation and a world beyond my own “universe” that was more significant and needed my help.  It was important to do well in school, to volunteer, to work hard, not just for myself, but to be a better influence on our world. 

You taught me that I can have an impact on the big issues.  As an elementary school student, we all feel limitless but as we get into the real world, we lose some of that fire and feeling that nothing can stop us.  But you brought it back.  I can create social change, no matter how seemingly small my actions may be.  “Yes We Can.”  Since 2007, I inspired two people to register to vote.  It is small, but two more than we had. 

You encourage people to get involved and make changes, not just when it is easy and not just when it is relevant.  I fight that often, feeling that around Christmastime is when I will give to a charity or when it is election time, that is when I will volunteer and learn about the issues.  But it should be always.  “Lace up your shoes and do some organizing.“  I currently work in Development and Fundraising at a homeless shelter and I am reminded everyday that there is work to be done, not just when it is cold out and people need shelter, but always.  I need to always be searching for ways to make myself better, and the world/society/culture I live in.  And “not to score points or take credit.  But to make people’s lives better.”  It is not about a means to an end but an end in itself.

For me to be able to say I voted (twice) for our first African American president will forever stay with me.  I grew up in an area where there was no diversity.  I had two black students in my middle school.  Yet, moving to New York City and going to school in the Bronx, I very quickly realized that things were different and that equality was an issue that needed to be addressed.  Racism and sexism exist, whether we see it everyday or we don’t.  I have pushed myself to be in spaces where it is not all “puppies and rainbows,” but where there are these issues and that maybe I can help in defeating them.

When you gave your Farewell Address, I was sobbing from the moment you walked out on stage.  I was, and am, sad to see you go.   It feels like I am losing a friend—a very important and powerful friend.  But I also feel like I did have a piece, as small as it may be, of the change you brought about, and I know many others across the country (and beyond) feel the same.  It is so important, as you said, for young people to feel that they can make a difference and bring about change.

Yes we can.  Yes we did!

With that, I want to thank you for being a President that I can look up to and an impactful leader I will forever follow.  Thank you for teaching me how to confront issues with grace and poise.  How to look at progress as tiny movements forward, and maybe some movements back, and for being an intelligent leader.

Many Thanks,

Nicole

#micdrop

Respect For Your Predecessors

I am all about cover songs.  Cover songs are my jam.  I live for them!  I think I might get more excited about a good cover than I do about just a good song.  Covering a song is a skill.  A lot of bands and artists do it and you just want to ask them, “Why didn’t you leave well enough alone.”  I’m talking to you, Britney.  Then there are other artists that do a cover song and you are like, “This is everything I ever wanted in life!”

There are two pieces that make a cover, a great one:

First, the cover needs to be unique in some way.  If the song is performed exactly like its original version, then you might as well just listen to the original.  Marilyn Manson, thou I am biased, is the King of Covers, having accomplished at least 5 successful covers that I know of: “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This),” “Personal Jesus,” “Tainted Love,” “This is Halloween,” and “You’re So Vain.”  “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is his best and such a great example of a cover song totally changing the vibe and a style of a song to make it unique.  This song went from a new wave, 80s rhythmic beat to a creepy, listless, Goth anthem. 

Secondly, what makes a great cover is that the cover needs to inspire you to listen to the original.  It needs to respect the version that made it available to be covered in the first place.   Yes, the cover needs to stand on its own, but it also needs to keep enough of the key components to make you want to enjoy the original version.  Disturbed did this really well recently with “Sound of Silence.”  I had their version and the Simon & Garfunkel version on the same playlist for many months, enjoying both and what each brought to the musical table.

I really respect artists that cover songs well because they are branching out of their comfort zone and also asking their fans to do the same.  Hell, my mom loves Marilyn Manson’s version of “Tainted Love.” Who knew!?  Covers bridge the gap between genres, between eras.  Covers are the treaties of the music world; amiability amidst vast differences.

This past week I was in a yoga class, just laying there in Shavasana (you know, the position where the person next to you usually starts snoring), and “Stand By Me” by Florence and the Machine was playing.  It took me a minute to catch on that I knew the lyrics, just not this version, and I couldn’t help but sway a little bit back and forth (but not too much—didn’t want to wake the woman next to me who had indeed, fallen asleep).  This cover rocks and when you get your hands on a really good cover, you kind of wonder how you have been existing all these years NOT listening to it. 

I hope you enjoy this playlist of some of my truly favorite covers. 

There's Gullible Written on the Ceiling

I read somewhere recently that at the base of all human emotion is either fear or love. That is where our actions and how we live our lives is rooted.  That's it! We act/feel because we are fearful or because we feel love.  I think about this theory a lot and I do think it to be true.  Why don't I always share my feelings?  Fear.  Why do I worry so much?  Love.  

All of my everyday emotions I can trickle down to one of these two feelings.  Unfortunately, I think fear can sometimes take over my actions. More so than love. I have no idea the right answer to the bigger-than-life question, "How do I live?" or "How do I live well?" but I feel the answer cannot be to live your life mostly in emotions of fear.  Just sounds kind of sucky to me.

Something that I also have been thinking about recently is, I don't look up. When I walk to the subway, run errands, walk to the gym, walk home, sit in a meeting, sit on the subway, run through the park--I never look up.  I look down.  I look at the street.  I look at where I'm going.  I look at my phone.

One of my favorite fitness instructors today (or yesterday as you are reading this) told all of us, students, during a specific stretch to "look up."  Almost no one was already doing that, looking up.  We were all just crunched into ourselves, looking down. Looking down makes us feel down, she said. It makes us feel sad, depressed, blue. If there is anything to be said about the neurological effects of how we position our bodies, looking down means we are cowering over ourselves.  We are introverted, uninterested in what is happening around us.  

Looking up is a happier approach to life.  Looking up is seeing higher and further than yourself. It is looking beyond your bubble of misery. If you believe in a higher power, I am pretty sure that up is where He/She/They/It hangs out.  Looking up opens your upper body, exposing your heart.  You notice other pieces of what make up your universe.  You see that it is not just you.  

Rather than acting based mostly in fear (looking down) I think we should be more active in our emotions of love (looking up). We should be open, present, happier, exposed.  There is so much love to be seen and had when you open yourself up to it.  I am very often looking down, fearful and worrisome.  But, I should look up, see how I can impact others and worry less.

This may all sound a little tree-hugging or a little let's-just-all-get-along, but as I made my new years resolutions for 2017 and thought about how I can be a better being, a lot of my resolutions could be aided by me simply looking up. Looking up by being more present in the moment; looking up by seeing beyond my worrisome thoughts; looking up to where I can  make an impact.  

Barack Obama said tonight (last night) in his Farewell Address that we must keep believing that we can make a difference; that we can make change happen.  That is a big-picture statement but it is true.  Even in just bettering ourselves, or helping or being there for one other person, or making our own lives for meaningful.  These are all possible in each step that we take.

Just look up.

Forfeit the Game

Do people still listen to The Vines?  Yah, I didn’t think so.  "Get Free" is totally my jam this week, over 12 years after I first heard it.  It is just a great song—even though we never heard from them again. 

Do people still listen to Linking Park?  Now, there is a band that is NOT a one hit wonder and not a band that fell off the face of the earth in the early 2000s.  But no one talks about them.  I feel like Hybrid Theory came out in 2000 and by the time “In The End” played for the 300 millionth time on MTV, people were on to the next band.

Note: if “In The End” is your favorite Linkin Park song to date, you should just stop reading this post.  You know nothing of the Park that is Linkin.

People don’t seem to understand that Linkin Park has staying power like no other.  They have rocked ever since that first album.  Just for kicks, I looked up how many albums they have released, to compare how many I have purchased.  They have 6 studio albums (not including any remix or live albums).  It turns out I have all 6 of these albums, plus a remix album, so I know what I am talking about.

Even though I may not be dedicated like I used to be (I no longer have aspirations to marry Chester Bennington and go on tour with him), I always go back to their albums.  And if you thought they lost their touch after Hybrid Theory—you are WRONG!

They have made some amazing music since 2000.  Their best albums after Hybrid Theory are Minutes to Midnight and A Thousand Suns.  If you are not familiar with these albums and haven't been enjoying them over the years, you have missed out on a lot of inner angst and a lot of emotional walks to the subway.  You have missed so many fights with your boyfriend or girlfriend, so many feeling sorry for yourself cry sessions, so many angry drives through the rain I mean, have you really lived? 

Unfortunately, I have only seen Linkin Park once, at Madison Square Garden.  I went alone and stood next to a guy in a cowboy hat.  He asked me at least twice to smile.  Despite a stranger constantly encouraging my facial expressions to change, it was a great show.  Linkin Park is a well-oiled machine, full of so many pieces.  All the instruments, musicians and visuals all play together so well that it is as if Linkin Park is one artistic movement—one voice.

Here are my picks of the Top 10 Linkin Park Songs ever!

01.  Valentine’s Day

02.  Waiting for the End

03.  When They Come for Me

04.  Castle of Glass

05.  Place for My Head

06.  Rebellion

07.  Hands Held High

08.  Papercut

09.  Final Masquerade

10.  Points of Authority

Caretaker

Take care of me
as best as you can
there may not be another chance to have it all
and if there were
I know
it would never be like this

for this is bliss
it is not what you would think
bliss is not white
not pastel pink and ribbons
not faint heart never won fair lady

its clammy hands on punctured faces
its shit on cobbled streets
its red eyes and burnt chicken
its too many fucks given

its hidden tears behind graffitied doors
that no one will ever hear about

but Take care of me
as best as you can

what if it fades
and the drinks aren't as strong
and the music isn't as loud
And I can't fall asleep
I know
I was a fighter
but I'm not anymore

for this is bliss
it's the worn out fabric
and secret touches
And doused in liquor whispers
that no one will ever hear about

but Take care of me
as best as you can
as the curtain falls
just Take care of me
just as you can
You Take care of me
as best as you can