I realize that I am usually talking about music I like or even in some instances, that I love. Music for the most part is all puppies and rainbows and I often have very few complaints. I don’t often say bad things about artists or albums or songs. However, there are the occasional bad apples. I decided to discuss a choice few with the hopes that I do not offend anyone. But, if you actually enjoy any of the music I am about to mention, you have offended me as a music fan and therefore, this is payback and you deserve to be humiliated!
First off, Modest Mouse, “Float On.” What an awful song. “I backed my car into a cop car the other day/well, he just drove off—sometimes lie’s ok.” What?!?!? Is this song supposed to mean something? I do not mind ridiculous lyrics, however, I get the vibe that Modest Mouse is trying to be witty and existential and I don’t like that. These lyrics are ridiculous, the voice is a screeching off-key bark, and the video is a scrapbooking mess. “And we’ll all float on okay.” Is this an omen? Is this referring to our death and our souls moving on into the next dimension? I really do not want to listen to music talking about death being all “okay.” I’m going to be honest, still not ok with death and I would rather not hear about it at a bar or restaurant when this crap comes on the radio.
Even worse than that, “Young Folks” by Peter Bjorn and John—oh my good gracious, could a song be more obnoxious? They are trying to be cute by whistling and having cartoon characters in their music video, but it is really just a haunting and monotonous drone. I hate the whistling that I hear, the voices, the lyrics; this song has no redeeming quality and because this is the first song I ever heard by Peter Bjorn and John, I will never be able to respect any of their other work.
“Love Shack” by the B-52s never got my attention. I hated it from the first time I heard it. A big part of why I hate it is because they play it anywhere. It somehow fits into any category of music so no matter what radio station you choose, it may find its way into the mix. It is like a bad rash that just won’t go away . . .AND NO DOCTOR WILL WRITE YOU A PRESECRIPTION!
R.E.M is a completely over-rated band. I dislike most of their songs. I don’t necessarily hate their music, or them as a group but I just have yet to like a song by them. “Man on the Moon,” “It’s The End of The World As We Know It,” “Everybody Hurts,” “Losing My Religion”—all mediocre songs and truly over-rated. I mean, I used a blog about the 20 best R.E.M songs to find all their worst songs. Somehow I seem to be on the opposing viewpoint of most of the alternative rock fans when it comes to this band. The cheese stands alone.
John Mayer. “Your Body is a Wonderland” came out when I was in high school and I admit, I swooned for a day or two over the sugary sweet lyrics of this tune. But then, it all went downhill between Mayer and me. I hosted an event for an internship I had during college, and he was one of the main guests of honor. He arrived extremely late and rumor backstage was that he was late because he was getting an expensive haircut and would not appear without his hair being cut just right. He gave a quick speech where he was trying to sound deep and philosophical. Dude, when you pay over $1,000 for a haircut (rumor has it), there is no way I can respect anything that comes out of your mouth. That includes your crappy acoustic music. “Who Says” and “Daughters”—what a tool bag. I may have fantasized about you once after seeing you in a Gap ad but those days are long gone.
These are just a few negative thoughts I wanted to put out there, I hope even if you do not agree, you are able to find a slight truth to my explanations.
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