2016's Angry Little Secret

I am seeing a lot of “Top” lists for 2016.  The top albums, top songs, the 2017 Grammy nominations were recently released; now is the time to summarize our year in music.  And here it is:

LEMONADE

Most reports on music in 2016 agree that nothing had a chance against Beyoncé’s latest album.  And I am going to be honest, I agree.  

But, when you look beyond “ladies now let’s get in formation,” the year in music is not really something to write home about.  I am a little disappointed.  I mean, let’s face it, we are ending the year with a collaboration with Maroon 5 and Kendrick Lamar (I can’t), and Beyoncé is nominated for a Grammy for Best Rock Performance (I really can’t). What is happening?!?!  If The Chainsmokers come out with a song featuring Robert Plant, call the paramedics—music is dead!

But, there is still hope.  There is great new music being released all the time—it is just not always given the attention it deserves.  For example . . .

On April 22^nd, 2016—an amazing album dropped.  NF, a Christian rapper released his second album, Therapy Session.  And.  It.  Is.  Amazing. 

I was listening to a random Spotify-manufactured workout mix one day.  I was enjoying all the testosterone-filled aggression-inducing tracks, when suddenly something caught my ear.  I heard the song “Grindin” by NF.  Who is this NF?

Well, he’s 25.  He’s from Michigan.  He had a hard childhood.  And he is PISSED.

But luckily, we as music consumers get to reap the benefits of his anger because he turns his rage into incredible music.  I like rap that gets me fired up.  I like my rap like I like my rock—angry, aggressive, in your face. 

This album combines the creative lyrical rap style of Eminem with the innovative instrumentals of a end-of-world movie preview and the heaviness rock and roll.

If you are looking to find some realness in the same 2016 that brought us the lyrics, “sex with me so amazing” and “panda, panda, panda,” than this might be just the refreshing dose of authentic emotion and feeling you are looking for.  Please check out the album and if you are not interested in giving the whole album a try, check out the best songs on the album:

“Grindin”

“I Just Wanna Know”

“Intro 2”

“Therapy Session”

Don't Hit Snooze

In this day and age, there is so much emphasis on a strong morning routine.  I have read many an article about the importance of having such a routine.  Drinking lemon water, stretching, meditating, drinking coffee, practicing positive self-talk.  But, I have seen nothing about the sounds that wake you up and its impact on your day and overall well-being.  The first thing you hear in the day is your alarm.  Isn’t that right?  That is how you officially start the day.

It is so important to have the proper alarm sound and with technology today, you can choose to wake up to any sound you would like, and any song you would like.  Why anyone would choose to wake up to anything other than a great tune is beyond me.   I have always chosen to wake up to music, as soon as my alarm clock/smart phone would allow.

I woke up to, “Gimme Shelter” by Puddle of Mudd, “Get Stoned” by Hinder, “Frantic” by Metallica, “Try it Out” by Skrillex, and “Outrageous” by The Cataracs, to name a few.   However, the longest running alarm—the one I currently have is . . .

“Main Theme” by Ramin Djawadi.

Yup, the theme song from Game of Thrones.  Nothing is going to get me out of bed in a more “LET’S DO THIS!” type of way than this song.  It gets me fired up, ready to tackle all the obstacles that may come my way.

Even though this alarm has served me well, even outside Westeros, I feel that as the New Year approaches, it might be time for a new alarm.  The song you pick for your alarm should be similar to the theme song you would like for yourself.  The attitude you want to embody throughout your day.  If you were to walk into a big meeting and have a song playing, what would it be?  That might not be a bad choice for an alarm.

And though I have loved going into my days with a look-out-or-I’ll-send-the-Hound-after-you attitude, I feel like it is time for a change.  And to those out there who just wake up to a regular alarm sound or a song you haven’t really thought about in in a bit, perhaps it is time to rethink.

It is a hard decision because it not only needs to be a song you like; you really need to focus on the first 10-30 seconds of the song (depending on how long it takes you to hit “off” or “snooze”).  Some of the songs I have woken up to in the past had a gradual beginning. They eased you into the idea that it was morning and time for me to get my ass out of bed. Some of my other alarm choices were more abrupt.  The first few seconds were loud and harsh.  They were letting me know I needed to get up NOW!

If you have yet to pick your morning song, here are some great suggestions to start your day off right:

If you want to kick ass and take names:  “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC or “’Till I Collapse” by Eminem & Nate Dogg

If you want to be calm, cool and collected:  “Adiemus” by Adiemus or “Wild Child” by Enya

If you want to be positive and energized: “Happy” by Pharrell Williams or “The Greatest” by Sia

And if you just need something to jolt you out bed:  “Jump” by System of a Down or

Anything by Taylor Swift (that would certainly get me out of bed to turn the alarm off quick)

So now that I have given suggestions and talked at length of the importance of a great morning alarm, I will be changing my song as well. 

“She is Beautiful” by Andrew W.K.

In the morning, I need a little rock, a little confidence, a little head banging; this is a perfect fit for my mornings.

I hope this post inspires you to realize that it is ok to do things in the morning, however silly or stupid they are that set you up for success, whatever your success looks like, and get you in a mindset to be the best you YOU can be.  So go ahead, “ring the alarm . . . I’ve been through this too long, but I’ll be damn if I see another chick on your arm!” . . .sorry, I got carried away.

I'm In Love With A Stripper

“We should go to a strip club!” 

I said this at about 10:30 PM on a Wednesday night after attending the Twins of Evil: Rob Zombie & Marilyn Manson concert at the Hammerstein Ballroom in midtown.  It just made sense to me at the time that after a rock concert, you would head to the nearest strip club.  Perhaps it was the overpriced cocktails or the sexualized images displayed on large screens during Zombie’s performance, but I was ready to see some ladies! So, I asked a cop on the street where the nearest strip club or gentleman’s club was and luckily, he had a few suggestions.

The next morning, I woke up over $400 poorer, body glitter on my face, a bad hangover headache, and a napkin stuck in my pocket with a woman’s phone number written on it. 

If you don’t enjoy going to strip clubs, I totally respect that.  It is CLEARLY not for everyone.    I have only been to a strip club/gentleman’s club a handful of times.  But each time—it was an experience.  As a woman, I always got the royal treatment.  All the attention is on you (whether you want it or not).  I have never received more compliments on my outfit, shoes, hair, etc.  All the strippers want to chat with you, all the bouncers and security want to make sure you are safe and having a good time, and all the other guys in the club are looking at you in awe because, who is this random chick having fun at the strip club?  It is a little uncomfortable when you first walk in, but eventually, you do feel comfortable.  Strippers are a nurturing people.  They want you to feel at ease because if you do, you stay longer and spend more money.

Another reason that strip clubs are a lot of fun is the music.  Just think of how many different types of people a strip club has to please: male customers, female customers, plus all the dancers and then the waitresses; spouses that are reluctantly there with their arms crossed.  The music better be good.  At most stores, restaurants, and bars the music is an afterthought.  You are going to a store for the merchandise, the restaurant for the food, and the bar for the drinks.  At a strip club, you are going for the . . . well you are going for the women (or men) but the performance that you are there to witness is dependent on the music.  Take the music away and you are in a dark room with women standing on stages in tacky outfits.  Music is so important at a strip club.  If the dancers are not digging the music, the customer is not going to be digging them.  The business model crumbles.

In my limited experience of going to strip clubs, the music is is always awesome.  There is always a mix of songs I have never heard before, songs that I loved but had forgotten about, and hits that everyone wants to hear.  The playlist ranges from “oh, I love this song” to “wow, never thought I would hear this in a strip club,” to “where has this song been all my life?”  I have always left a strip club like I leave a concert.  After a good concert, I always start downloading and listening to the music that I heard.  I want to relive it.  After a visit to a strip club, I always start listening to the songs I heard.  I suddenly have a whole new list of music to rock my world.

Whether you have been to a strip club and hated it, go all the time and love it, or have never been and never intend to, you cannot deny there are some great tunes that get popular from their pole appeal (I just made that up—copyright). 

So here I give to you my stripper mix.  Enjoy and maybe see if you might have a new career calling, wink.

Missing the Aches and Pains

About 5 months ago, I hurt my back.  I guess this is what happens when you turn 30—everything goes to shit.  I hurt my back in a gym class I had taken fairly regularly and ever since, I have not been able to resume normal physical activity.  I waited a few weeks after my injury to see if the discomfort would subside and it never did.  I went to my doctor who in turn, sent me to an orthopedist.  The orthopedist gave me a prescription and told me to ice it.  After that did not work, he gave me a different prescription and told me to ice it and stretch.  And then after that ALSO didn't work, he sent me for an MRI.  


The orthopedist called me the day after the MRI, letting me know he received the results.  "You say the pain is on your left side?" he asked.

"No, my right side."

"Oh--well yah--I see something on the right side of your lower back."

*Sigh*

I pinched some sort of muscle/nerve/something on the right side of my back.  He recommended acupuncture. By the time you read this, I will have attended two needle-prodding sessions. 

During these last few months I have been told to minimize my physical activity to more low impact options at the gym.  I am allowed to do Yoga and some Pilates, and use the elliptical a bit, but nothing any more strenuous than that.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a fitness aficionado by any means, and I certainly am skilled at looking for excuses to skip the gym wherever and whenever I can.  But, during this time where I am somewhat limited, I have realized that I actually miss it. 

Well, not all of it.  Two very  specific components of my fitness routine.  Caribbean dance fitness classes and running.

Yup, you heard me.

I have tried almost every type of exercise there is (at least once): pilates, yoga, kickboxing, weight lifting, swimming, belly dancing, interval training, pole dancing, hip hop, burlesque, spin, hot yoga, I even have Carmen Electra’s Stripaerobics DVDs.  Fitness is supposed to make you feel energized, happy and positive about yourself.  Most of these workouts are great but not necessarily leaving me with a rejuvenated feeling afterwords.  However, running and Caribbean rhythm dance classes are a form of detox for me.   I realize this now that I have been living without since the summer.

I started taking Caribbean rhythm dance/fitness classes about a year ago.  It was scary to walk into the class for the first time, not knowing the steps or even knowing if I could keep up.  Not to mention my dancing should probably never be seen in a public space.  The beauty of this class was that I didn't need to know what I was doing or be even skilled at it, to enjoy it and love it.  It was fun and freeing and an amazing workout, but the best part?--the music! It was a genre I had never tapped into but soon enough, I had my own collection of Soca and Reggaeton music to enjoy outside of the classes.  

I also miss running, perhaps more than I miss the dance classes.  They say running is cheaper than therapy and guess what; even with good insurance, they're right!  I started running casually in college and then more significantly in 2012, finishing two half marathons in 2013: the New York City Half and the Boston Half.  The clarity and serenity I get from running, I haven't found anywhere else . . . although I have never tried any hard drugs so maybe that is something to look into during this time.   

Running and these fitness dance classes were opportunities to tune out of everything else in life and just tune in to music I love to listen to.  With the right playlist, I can run that many more miles or do that many more burpees in the dance routine.

Every time I see the orthopedist (or speak to him on the phone), I ask the same things, "Can I start running again?" or "Can I take gym classes again?" and I get the same answer.  

"I would still take it easy.  Stick with yoga."

This.  Is.  Frustrating.  There is only so many times I can savasana and anjaneyasana without going crazy.  I still listen to my running playlist and my Caribbean playlist and think longingly of better times.  For now, all I can do is Namaste and enjoy the tunes without the moves.

Because this music is so good it gets me to actually work out, I figured I should share it. So enjoy my Caribbean playlist and my Running playlist at the gym or being lazy on your couch.

I Have Nothing Valuable to Say About Metallica

Let’s be honest; no one really wants to hear what I think about Metallica. No one wants to hear what girl who quotes Lemonade lyrics regularly and likes her Chai Lattes made with Soy milk, what she thinks of Hardwired . . .To Self-Destruct, Metallica’s new album or what her favorite songs are.  I have refrained from conversations about the topic and when I have brought up that I am a Metallica, it is brushed off.  Metallica fans don’t let just anyone into their group and I respect that.

I was a late bloomer to Metallica.  I first thought to listen to Metallica when the single “St. Anger” was released in 2003.

Did I lose anyone?  Ok, I’ll continue.

I watched a lot of music videos at the time.  That was one of my biggest sources of new music.  Music videos were where I first heard System of a Down, Korn, and even how I first heard the Beastie Boys.  I saw the “St. Anger” music video where the band performs for inmates at a state prison in California.  I really loved the song (and the video) and decided I would get the album.  It turns out, I loved it—every song off of St. Anger.  What I also discovered about loving this album was that most Metallica fans were not on the same train as me.  I heard many conversations about the new bassist, that the band was going through therapy, that their sound was not the same, they seemed soft, they sold out; that St. Anger was their worst album ever.

So I kept my appreciation for Metallica to myself.  I realized I needed to hear more Metallica.  I was a poser to only like this one album (at least that is what people told me).   I asked my boyfriend at the time if he had any Metallica albums I could borrow.  I assumed being a teenage male, he would have the entire discography.  He had two albums, Metallica and Reload.  That was it.  And from what I understand, if St. Anger is Metallica’s worst album, Reload is a close second and Metallica might be the third.  So, really it’s on him as to why I don’t have more of a Metallica education.  Yah, lets blame him.

Anyway, after listening to these two albums, I thought, yes!  I do like Metallica.  Another less-than-proud coincidence around this time was that one of my favorite movies was Mission Impossible II. I am not sure why.  I would watch it on DVD once or twice a month.  One day I noticed in the Bonus Features, a music video from Metallica was one of the features.  Could it be true?  Metallica recorded “I Disappear” for the Mission Impossible II soundtrack.  Mark my words, this song will play at my wedding.

After this twisted tale of metal, we can really see why I am weary of saying I am a Metallica fan.  To a real fan, I am someone who likes the newer, more mainstream stuff.  I cannot help how I first got introduced to Metallica and became a fan of their music.  At least I knew enough to recognize how good the music was.  The metal gods cannot be too cross with me.  If someone had played the entire Master of Puppets album for me when I was 14, the conversation would be totally different.  But, I did not hear the album in its entirety until this year.

Hardwired . . .To Self-Destruct—I decided to listen before reading any reviews.  I honestly assumed that if I loved it, the reviews would be bad and I could stay consistent with my awkward Metallica fandom.  However, I really like the album and so do most of the critics (that I have read).  If there were levels to Metallica fans, I would be at Level I—Beginner.  I am ok with that.  I love their music.  I love that they are still rocking so hard after all these years.  When I first started running, my first long-distance run was listening to Metallica—it gave me that push I needed to get through those extra miles.  I had a Metallica poster in my college dorm room that would later end up in my first apartment’s bathroom (James Hetfield watching me shower was never uncomfortable).  I will always turn to St. Anger as my go-to album because that is where it all started.  Where I first learned that Metallica are really one of the best bands of all time.

And now, I leave you with my personal list of MY top 10 Metallica songs.  May you read this list and remember it is the holiday season, so be kind.

1.  “I Disappear”
2.  “St. Anger”
3.  “Spit Out the Bone”
4.  “Low Man’s Lyric”
5.  “Hardwired”
6.  “The Unnamed Feeling”
7.  “Slither”
8.  “Shoot Me Again”
9.  “Frantic”
10. “The Unforgiven”